The System

I have been out of commission for a while. I have just been waiting on some special moments from my lovely customers at the restaurants. Managers are on a rampage up in there. You know everytime a new manager transfers into the store they think they are the end all to it all. What you are trying to change will only last for 2 weeks. It's sad, but true!!!! Your peers are lazy and they are enforcers for only a little while. Once they get tired of working they will slowly kick all your new suggestions to the curb. The changes you think your making have already been addressed and benched. All new comers think they can change things with a snap of their finger and unfortunately it is never an easy tasks!!!! I guess that is just the way the cookie crumbles.

Superior...I Think Not!!!!

How should I begin? I have been asking myself this question all day. I think I got it together now. I am going to try to be as polite as I can. You are not superior to us. We all do the same thing. Your shirt is white too and you can not direct us until you have a green card!!! Try not to even look as though you want to critique what I am doing. This lobby is completely under control. No help needed!!!! How about this... what you can do for me is stop trying to tell everybody what to do when your a service pro and concern yourself with bussing your own damn tables and keeping your section clean. I got yo boy on lock and he'll do what I say so sit down and get off our backs. I speak for the crew when I say, "Superior...I think not...NOT WITHOUT THE GREEN CARD"!!!!!

10 minutes to....

For your information:

When you enter an establishment asking if the business is closed, you probably should have never come in. There are a couple other lines that are completely ridiculous such as;

Are you closed? If you have to ask then you are 10 minutes to

Is it too late to eat? If you think to ask then you are 10 minutes to

Can we still order a carry-out? If the entire carry-out area is closed then you are 10 minutes to

10 minutes to...to what you ask?!? To CLOSE!!!

Coming Soon

Hello fellow bloggers,
I am thinking about adding some elements to my blog. I am currently a producer at fm 98 WJLB and I am going to be announcing celebrity gossip. I think that I want to incorporate this with my blog. I hope you enjoy the celebrity juice.

Samplers!

I'mmmmm Baaacccckkkkk!!!

Why in the world are you at the restaurant asking for tasters? This is not Sam's Club or the deli. This is a dining facility!! Samplers are starting to be more and more frequent. A guest asked my girl RocDiva for a courtesy cup of raspberry lemonade...I'm saying...are you serious. No! No! No! You may not sample the kool-aid. It's kool-aid. The babies drink comes with the meal so it will be free. If you just ask then I will let you know. Oh yeah... you can't sample the soup or the lobster either, none of those items are put into taste size portions. TTYL!!

Things That Make You Go Hmmmm....

Attention!!! All innocent bystanders, sorry you have become the victim!!

-White panties with white pants
-The bra that is so tight it looks like you have four breasts
-A ponytail that needs to be combed or brushed or something
-Camel Toe
-Ash and dirt on the bottom of your feet while wearing a flip flop
-Hairy pits
-Skinny jeans! On men!
-Taco meat or Hairy chest
-Thigh wedgies
-Butt cracks

We have become victims to this insane way of fashion. I say,"No more". I will not take this insanity from you any longer. I am just minding my own business and hee you come with this crazyness. Get it together beore I see you in the streets and call u out!! You can take that to the bank.

What's with the "Tude"

While vacationing in Las Vegas this weekend I ran into a lot of people who had a really funky attitude. I'm not quite sure why they were so rude, but they were. I bet the majority of them were locals. When must people are visiting a new environment they are not mean. They are for the most part pleasant, because they are away from their everyday life. Look... I know that I came to have a nice time and just because you didn't, try not to interrupt me. I will adjust my path so we don't collide, but you need to do the same. We are not walking on a one way and what makes you feel as though your on the path alone. I would be wrong if I dropped my shoulder and flipped you on your back. Try to remember if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed the person that you are about to disrespect could have done the same.

Accommodations

Hola People~

Fashion flaws are going to drive me to drink. I'm not sure how I should feel when I go into the store to show patronization towards the celebrity I like when they only accommodate females of smaller sizes. How should that make the rest of the world feel. I know that it takes a little more effort to make the garments, but if you decide to make it...make it right!! The clothing for plus size that celebrities make never look like regular sized clothes. The colors are always horrific, they have a bunch of unnecessary print, and there's always a lot of things cut out or hanging from it. Tacky as hell is all I can say about the clothes. I can't understand why they won't just make the same styles for all sizes. We want to wear rocawear, and baby phat, but not if it is going to make us stand out and have others gawking. I think I speak for the ladies that care about their appearance and want the things they purchase to be cute, sexy, and tasteful. Please designers consider us too, because the larger portion of the world is a becoming the majority so you will at some point or another need or business just as much if not more than the skinny minis.

I have to put a few plus size stores in "The Corner"
http://www.ashleystewart.com/
http://www.dots.com/

Thank you for the fabulous apparel!!!!!!

See, Speak,and Hear the Words

I want to visualize how silly people look who have bad grammar. Then you should practice speaking with proper grammar and pronunciation. Last but not least listen to the applause you'll receive for accomplishing this task.

A list of phrases that are used frequently and sound absolutely ridiculous:

• I'm bout to go>>> I'm about to go.
• We finna get ready>>> We are getting ready right now.
• Where it's at>>> Which sounds more like where is at>> It is meant to be, Where is it?
• She ain't got no money>>> She does not have any money.
• Why come he can't>> Why can't he

Feel free to let me know which ones are missing.

The Freaks Come Out

This is the beginning of a different type of customer. The customer that is very greedy. All you can eat....HELP ME!!! My co-worker has experienced the first complaint of the all you can eat season. Thank heavens I am no longer on the floor. So check this, her guest came in asked for a table for three. I took them in and let them no that their server would be right over. At the time of seating there was only two guests. They ordered all you can eat for one and a seperate entree` for the other. When the last guests arrived he did decided not to order anything. Of course your right, he's just gonna eat with her. Wrong... that is not allowed...you can not do that!!!! Please do not be upset when you have an additional charge on your bill for the food that your friend was just tasting. Thanks for coming out...God Bless... and Goodnight (Russell Simmons).

Cellularphobia

Many people have it bad with the wireless communication set up. You lock numbers in and never look back at them. Problem 1 is here and what do you do? What do you do if you forget your phone? What will happen if your battery dies? Who are you going to call now?? I know you are the one who has no answer for all of the above. All is well though I have the perfect remedy! Write down your most important numbers on an index and put them in the glovebox. You can tape it to a secret location in the car. You can also put it in your wallet. This will insure that you will never be caught with your brain in the fryer. Your Welcome..lol!!!

Push or Pull

There are a lot of funny things that take place at the restaurant. Nothing beats when guests push the door instead of pulling it. I mean they push that door 3 and 4 times before they realize that they need to pull it. When I say hilarious...I mean hilarious. First they push with the handles. When that doesn't work they look at it and then they push it with on hand up top and the other on the handle...no dice. Next thing you know they are pushing it with one hand only. Can we all say OMG!!! At what point do you decide to pull it? Most people don't make this decision until they have pull three times, checked to make sure there are no locks, and seen all the people on the inside who are trying not to bust their spleen from laughter. Note: I think if you don't have door instructions you should always pull gently. It makes less noise and looks less obvious.

Communties

Good day mates~~

I apologize for my absence. I had unfortunate issues this weekend. My community is fair, but the neighborhood is evolving into some sort of monster. Local teens are beginning to need something to do and their newly found activities are in an understatement...illegal. Last time I checked it is a crime to kick out someone's air conditioning unit and go into their home and remove things. Where in the hell is yo momma??? Why do these little hoodlums have all this time unsupervised. I guess parents should wait until people leave their homes and climb in their windows too. The term is Breakin and Entering and it is ignorant. These people better get they kids, because when they climb through the wrong window they could possibly get killed. Then I guess the victim will no longer be the victim right???

Hello...I am Standing Here!!

Howdy Bloggers~

Today I experienced a very common yet unaddressed issue. I walked into the Little Ceasars to get the oh so famous Hot n' Ready. I must say that the young man behind the counter was not really feelin' work today. He took my order and one of his co-workers can around the corner and said, "How come this s**t is always right here on the floor?". When she said this I guess that gave him the okay to reply, "I don't know I told that ni**a to move that s**t". Are you serious? This is what is considered taking care of people? She had to see me, and I am wondering if the manager is present. Things are just getting out of hand. What makes you think I want to hear your conversation anyway?!? I started to yell out HELLO... I AM STANDING HERE!!! Somebody needs to report these things, because they are just taking it too far. You hate to snitch, but nobody wants to deal with that.

Freeloaders

From the diary of a mad man~~

In order of events...

A couple comes into the restaurant and ask to be seated in the smoking section. All the guest around them are having a good time so they try to blend in. They order their drinks and an appetizer. Faintly in the background Micheal Jackson's Thriller begins to play. At this point I feel something evil lurking in the dark. The lady is now frowning. I ask her,"Is there something wrong?" She says, Yes...these crab cakes are nasty and they don't taste like the crab cakes I had at the other restaurant". My first thought is that she has eaten a cake and 3/4 of the other cake and she must have noticed that she is at a different restaurant by now. When she starts to get crabby..lol..... I let her know that I will send the manager over. Now she has some extra feedback that I didn't really ask for!!! She's like~~~Yeah send that mutha over so I can get all this s**t for free. My second thought is how on earth will you get your basically already eaten meal for free. Now I'm not saying you shouldn't get what you paid for, but it also doesn't take eating the whole meal to notice you don't like it. Most people can figure that out in 1-2 chews!!! Here comes the manager... not the mean one...the passive one. Once again I am surprised at what he does to resolve this situation. Not only did he NOT comp her entire meal, he only gave her fifty percent off the appetizer. It is safe to say that she was pissed. It is also safe to say I was pissed too.

p.s. For all my freeloaders you don't get free stuff at an establishment where you are charged a price especially after it has been eaten. If you didn't really wanna pay... stay home.

Insanely sincere,
Mad Man

When Is It Okay???

When is it okay to blow your horn?

Here are a few inappropriate times:

• When you're not the car directly behind the first car in the turn lane



• If your trying to do any lane transitions without a blinker



• Anytime you did not check your blind spot



• Driving faster then the speed limit when you are not in the fast lane on the expressway



• When the pedestrian is crossing in the parking lot



• My all time favorite is when you're on the phone and you miss what just happened so you decide to blow

Think about everything clearly, because you have just been tagged as "the one who blows" (no pun intended). Try not to blow, cuz road rage is real and my sister can vouche for that. Lol!!!

(www.iclipart.com)

Are You A Customer Service Representative??

Hello Everyone~ Today's thing is customer service representatives. I hate to go hard on you guys, but some of you are very rude. I'm calling to get assistance from you, because you are trained to deal with the issues that I may be having with the company you work for. It just always seems as thought a select few can never help, but hang up and call right back and the new rep, probably in the cubicle next to you has a solution. Why is that??? Did you all have seperate training?? No... let me guess your computers was on the fritz...lol!!! Customer service means just that service to your customer...please help us!!!!

That's Just Too Much

As you all have probably figured out I work at a restaurant. Much of my comedic charm is stemed from the lovely guests I see everyday at work. Last night my husband had a pamper party. Now I don't mean a "pamper party", I mean that party that just needs entirely too much. He was taking care of a party of 50 guests...who wanted 50 seperate bills. My goodness, that is ridiculous!! 50 seperate bills?? Can anyone in the party have a little consideration for the people who are taking care of you? You mean to tell me no one in the party could count. The bill is already broke down into exactly what you ordered, so why can't you and 2 to 3 of your friends add your bill together?!? 50 is just too much!!!

From the Front to the Back!!

In this weird business that I am in I deal with many different people. They all have many different issues and needs. I am only human and I can only deal with so much. I have a variety of things that boil my pot and I think that everyday I will let you know exactly what that is. Today my mother mentioned that she expected me to blog about the people who know exactly where they would like to sit, but never say anything until it is overdue. Why is it so hard to come into the restaurant and say 2 please for a booth in non-smoking. That was easy for me and I am not even at a restaurant. Most of you wait until the seater walks pass where you actually want to sit and that is just wrong. You are just tip-toeing the line of ignorance. It is less chaos when you state what you want so that we may accommodate your needs and eliminate your attitude and mine. Next time be sure to specify...It works everytime.

Refill Bandits

Now to put this as nicely as possible...No you can not have another refill!! I am still trying to fit my mind around the reason you come to the restaurant and drink 5-6 refills. Food for thought, you are using 14oz glasses and if your server feels like you are going to be a problem your glass is probably 18ozs. If you know that you are thirsty it is okay to let your waiter know that you need an extra beverage right away. There's no need to drink your beverage as fast as you can and need a refill before I can say what would you like. Now this may not apply to all, but most people do not sit at home and drink a 2 liter of pop with dinner, so why do that at the restaurant. That is just being greedy!!! Last but not least... a little off the subject...If you are not really going to drink the water, don't order it!!!!

Work Disasters

If your workplace is having a hard time understanding who there key players are, you may have to point it out. If you feel like you are being underminded, you must let it be known. One things for sure in the end it is all about money, and a business will do what they have to do to keep their moneymaker. No matter what they try to feed you, as long as you have the numbers you can get the money.

Driver's Training 101

Hello Everyone~
Here are a few pointers to entering the expressway:
1. If you are entering the expressway and there is a car already ahead of you then let them go and merge behind them.
2. If you are entering the expressway and there is a car behind you...by all means keep driving do not hit the brakes or you may cause a crash...duh!!!
3. Now I know this is sometimes hard for most, but you should always enter the expressway at 55 mph or more. You are going to kill someone at 30-45 mph

Hide Your Panties

Please hide your panties. Today I was at the nail shop and every young lady I saw was also showing her underwear. Now I haven't figured out if they are showing their panties on purpose, or if they do not know that their panties are showing. Here's the thing though if you are wearing a shirt that is constantly riding up your back, 9 times out of 10 you are probably showing your panties. I have three options: Buy a bigger shirt, Buy regular fit pants, or Buy smaller panties.

Waterboy

I think that it is completely insane to sell bottled water on the corner. For one, you are more than likely right next to the store or gas station. The water in the store is at least 99 cents, and if you can't beat that price you will not sale a bottle I guarantee it. Try to be smart when deciding to do something for extra money.

N.W.A (Nurses With an Attitude)

When is it appropriate to be kind to your patient? Well i must say that if you did not want to deal with sick people then you need another profession. It is safe to say that the majority of the people who go to the hospital do not want to be there. They did not choose to be sick, although you did choose to take care of them so do it with a SMILE!!!

WTF!!!

WTF were you thinking coming out the house in thigh length leggings and cut off shorts? Some things just can't make a comeback.

People...Why???

People... Why do you come into a restaurant on the telephone? Is it because you don't want to be greeted, or is it that you want someone to help at that time just so you can be rude or act as though you don't hear them? Didn't someone teach you that it is impolite to speak to someone who is on the phone??